Written by: 
Team Zariyaa

How to have a healthy relationship with yourself

Publised on: 
July 11, 2020

Can you honestly say that you love yourself? Are you having a hard time being happy with yourself? It is so easy to focus on your faults and everyone can dwell on their insecurities instead of the things about themselves that they are happy with. Doing this can cause you to dislike yourself. You may also be too busy focusing on others around you and not focusing on loving yourself. In life, many of us simply don’t allow ourselves to just be with and accept the person we truly are. It takes us a long time to accept ourselves and find beauty in our own reflection, and it’s still something that takes daily work. We must be confident enough to believe that the true you is absolutely enough.

What is self-acceptance?

Self-acceptance is being ourselves to be truly seen for who we are and not trying to change the way you live your lives for other people.  It means letting go of feeling that we have to be someone that we’re not, or trying to speak or act in a way that doesn’t feel aligned for us. we are all unique and we all need to accept and fully embrace our individuality.

A lack of self-acceptance and self-love turns up the volume on our negative thoughts. We start to have internal conversations with ourselves about how we can change to fit in or become stronger or more beautiful. The problem with this is, it moves us further away from what we really want, what we believe in, and what we value in life. And that’s when we become stuck, unhappy, and doing things we don’t want to do. When you start accepting ALL the different facets of yourself and stop fighting the so-called "negative" qualities you’ve been trying to keep submerged, you allow yourself to be seen for the whole amazing YOU that you are, rather than continuing to edit yourself for the world.

Learning to be happy with who you are doesn’t come overnight. I believe a daily practice is essential to start to shift our mindset. Here are my 5 tips for maintaining a healthy relationship with who you are:

  1. Be thankful for Your Body

Take a few minutes in front of the mirror each time you get dressed and begin to practice gratitude for your body. Notice the beautiful things about yourself. Research shows that people who actively practice gratitude are healthier, less depressed, and more resilient during tough times. If you can’t think of anything at first, stand there each morning until you think of at least one—and I promise that eventually the list of things you love and appreciate about yourself will grow from there.

2. Practice self-care

Taking care of your body, treating yourself to a massage, exercising regularly and becoming mindful of what you eat will not only boost your self-confidence, but it’s also the practice of self-care. The more you treat your body with the loving kindness it deserves, the more you will learn to naturally love it over time AND the more it will love you back, you may very well find yourself living with more energy and less pain.

  • You don’t have to be ‘‘perfect’’

Perhaps you are a perfectionist. Maybe you spend a long time getting ready to leave the house and obsess over tiny details, putting pressure on yourself to look a certain way?

It’s exhausting. Studies show that perfectionism is strongly linked to depression. Save the time you spend telling yourself you're not good enough or trying to hide your ‘imperfections’ and instead, learn to accept yourself for who you truly are, even with the parts that you deem to be imperfect.

  • Don’t be judgemental

Sometimes when we are hard on ourselves and in our deepest moments of insecurity, we can be extremely judgmental of others. It’s a bizarre way of making ourselves feel better, but as we all know, it's deeply unkind. Catch yourself the next time you notice you or those around you judging the way other people look or behave, and refrain from joining in with critical gossip if you find yourself surrounded by it. Practicing kindness and acceptance towards others is the first step to becoming more mindful about our own thoughts and actions.

  • Stop criticizing yourself

Start to change those nasty internal thoughts and how you talk to yourself. How many times a day do you tell yourself something negative? Start to learn to turn down the volume on your inner critic, swap your negative statements for positive ones, and begin to become your own best friend. Get really curious about the qualities that make you unique and different from the crowd. Self-acceptance is about learning to love and accept the whole of you, remembering that you and your body are a miracle helps keep you connected to that fact that you are something to be celebrated. So, stop wasting time worrying about the things you cannot change and start being grateful for all the amazing things you have instead.

Someone who can learn to accept and love themselves will exude confidence and beauty inside and out, and will attract more positive people and experiences to them.

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