Kids face a variety of problems every day, ranging from academic difficulties to problems on the sports field. Yet, few of them have a formula for solving those problems. Whether your child can't find his math homework or he's forgotten his lunch, good problem-solving skills are the key to helping him manage his life. Kids who lack problem-solving skills may avoid taking action when faced with a problem because he/she starts to feel so overwhelmed or hopeless and often don’t even want to address the problem. But when you explain to them the clear steps for problem solving, it becomes easier for them the confidence to try and deal with any situation presented to them. Here are a few steps we believe would help your child :
Firstly, it if very important for your children to understand that all emotions are acceptable, and that there are no ‘’good’’ and ‘’bad’’ emotions. Noticing and naming emotions diffuse their charge and gives your child a chance to take a step back. You could also guide your child to a calming space to process their emotions so they can solve the problem , learn from it and grow.
Just stating the problem out loud can make a big difference for kids who are feeling stuck. Help your child state the problem, such as, "You don't have anyone to play with at recess," or "You aren't sure if you should take the advanced math class.". Guide your child to formulate the problem. Repeat back what they said , ‘’so you’re saying…..’’ This will help them feel heard and understood. Help them to take responsibility for the problems rather than playing blame games.
Brainstorm possible ways to solve the problem. Encourage your child to list as many solutions as possible. As them to wrote it down and at this point they don’t even need to be ‘’good’’ solutions. Say ‘’how can we fix this?’’. Encourage your child to come up with solutions by themselves.
Identify the pros and cons of the solution. Ask , ‘’what would happen if we tried these solutions ?’’ , ‘’how will it make others feel’’. Its important for your child to understand both the negative and positive consequences that would follow their decisions. Ask questions like ‘’what would happen if...?’’ ‘’ what do you think will happen next.?’’
Once your child has evaluated the positive and negative outcomes of the solution. Encourage him/her to pick one or more solutions to try. If the solution doesn’t work , go back to the list, this shows how they have learned a valuable information and are ready to move to a new approach. Encourage your child to keep trying till the problem is solved. As questions like ‘’what did we learn from this?’’ ‘’what was easy and what was hard?’’ “what would you do differently next time?”
